“What’s this?” she asked.

“Pulverized willow bark,” replied her fairy godmother.

“What happened to the carpet?” she asked.

Greta exclaims,” Saving the planet is hard work. Do I have to pull up the last of the fence palings to heat the eggs?”

“The carpet was nylon, which is made from butadiene and hydrogen cyanide, both made from petroleum,” came the response.

Greta smiled, acknowledging that adjustments are necessary to save the planet, and moved to the sink to brush her teeth where instead of a toothbrush, she found a willow, mangled on one end to expose wood fibre bristles.

“Your old toothbrush?” noted her godmother, “Also nylon.”

“Where’s the water? asked Greta.

“Down the road in the canal,” replied her godmother, ‘Just make sure you avoid water with cholera in it”

“Why’s there no running water? ”Greta asked, becoming a little peevish.

“Well,” said her godmother, who happened to teach engineering at university, “Where do we begin?”

There followed a long monologue about how sink valves need elastomer seats and how copper pipes contain copper, which has to be mined and how it’s impossible to make all-electric earth-moving equipment with no gear lubrication or tires and how ore has to be smelted to a make metal, and that’s tough to do with only electricity as a source of heat, and even if you use only electricity, the wires need insulation, which is petroleum-based, and though most of Sweden’s energy is produced in an environmentally friendly way because of hydro and nuclear, if you do a mass and energy balance around the whole system, you still need lots of petroleum products like lubricants and nylon and rubber for tires and asphalt for filling potholes and wax and iPhone plastic and elastic to hold your underwear up while operating a copper smelting furnace and . . .

“What’s for breakfast?” interjected Greta, whose head was hurting.

“Fresh, range-fed chicken eggs,” replied her godmother. “Raw.”

“How so, raw?” inquired Greta.

“Well, . . .” And once again, Greta was told about the need for petroleum products like transformer oil and scores of petroleum products essential for producing metals for frying pans and in the end was educated about how you can’t have a petroleum-free world and then cook eggs.

Unless you rip your front fence up and start a fire and carefully cook your egg in an orange peel like you do in Boy Scouts.   Not that you can find oranges in Sweden anymore.

“But I want poached eggs like my Aunt Tilda makes,” lamented Greta.

“Tilda died this morning,” the godmother explained. “Bacterial pneumonia.”

“What?!” interjected Greta. “No one dies of bacterial pneumonia! We have penicillin.” 

“Not anymore,” explained godmother:

“The production of penicillin requires chemical extraction using isobutyl acetate, which, if you know your organic chemistry, is petroleum-based.

Lots of people are dying, which is problematic because there’s not any easy way of disposing of the bodies since backhoes need hydraulic oil and crematoriums can’t really burn many bodies using as fuel Swedish fences and furniture, which are rapidly disappearing – being used on the black market for roasting eggs and staying warm.”

This represents only a fraction of Greta’s day, a day without microphones to exclaim into and a day without much food, and a day without carbon-fibre boats to sail in, but a day that will save the planet. – contributed

Queen performs a TikTok dance routine

2020

Off to the Beach Ppl – Mick Raven

Observers Shocked at Greta Thunberg’s Inability to Answer a Simple Question Without a Script – Summit News

(I’m Not Shocked Ha! – Mick Raven)

Not so Funny? hope the profits (Amazon) from his latest movie can cover this – Mick Raven

Roy Moore, US politician duped by Sacha Baron Cohen in paedophile detector prank on Who is America, sues for $US95 million –

Still laughing? – Mick Raven

Sacha Baron Cohen’s trail of ‘fake interview’ destruction for new show has Sarah Palin fuming

Watch Cartoon Alex Jones Eats His Neighbors, Sends Bill Gates To Hell

R.E.M. Its the End of the World as We Know it HQ Video

Ban Plastic Bags? Not in China – Mick Raven

Driver follows GPS into lake

8 drivers who blindly followed their GPS into disaster

Woman drives car into lake after following GPS directions

2019

Mom completely freaks out playing VR horror game – YouTube

Alice Cooper Clarifies ‘Death Pact’ Story

Game of Thrones season 8 finale episode Helpline launched to help fans cope

Tyrion Lannister’s doppelganger from Game of Thrones is a Pakistani waiter who wants to ‘work in movies’

United Australia Party…Made in China? – Mick Raven

South African bottled water company It’s not made in China angers Chinese consumers

Do You Want Lies with That? lol – Mick Raven

How a nuclear war between India and Pakistan could reverse global warming

WA retailers warned against flouting plastic bag ban as fines for offenders come into effect

Drivers texting risk death

2018

Monopoly has released a “millenials” version

Leftist Students Threaten Journalist Dressed As Native American For Thanksgiving

Australia’s love of lawns harming the environment

Huffington Post Says Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer is “Problematic,” Internet Laughs

Putting up Christmas lights? Know the rules to avoid starting a war

I Love D*ck! – Australian Banned Dick Smith Ad Uncensored

Honest Government Ad |Anti Encryption Law

Honest Government Ad | My Police State!

Sydney residents frustrated as Mardi Gras partygoers leave behind ‘faeces and urine’

An Aussie Kim Jong Un impersonator has been arrested in Korea

2017

Recent ‘Subscription Popup’ for  ‘The Australian’ 2017

Something funny that the ‘Terrible Telegraph’ printed..you will have to sub$cribe if the want the whole ‘Fake News’ article – Mick Raven

www.dailytelegraph.com.au/news/national/consumers-are-wasting-hundreds-of-millions-of-dollars-on-vitamins-that-may-be-harmful/

2016

Had to put this Fake Story in the Humour Section…Gold – Mick Raven

Cover your Pepsi, stash your shotgun: The nannies are coming

Pagan priest wins right to wear goat horns in driver’s licence photo

Bazza and Mike? how noice – Mick Raven

All the links to those great Stories about Nostradamus’s predictions for the US Election..Ugh! – Mick Raven

Did Nostradamus predict Trump’s election & third global war?

Nostradamus Predictions 2016 for USA: World War 3 & Donald Trump Predicted

Nostradamus 2016 presidential election: Did famed French prophet predict Trump?

Nostradamus Predictions 2016: Elections Winner is President Donald Trump

Did Nostradamus predict Donald Trump would start World War 3?

HILLARYious!

TRANSformers Parody Obliterates PC Culture

Clint X sent these pix to amuse us…hang on i’ve got a message!! – Mick Raven

UnLegal?

BabyMetal – The One

Gnomesville a victim of its own success as it encroaches on private property

Sent in by Winston – Mick Raven

Sent in by James – Mick Raven

‘America’s dumbest criminal’ sends police a selfie after being unimpressed with his mugshot

2015

Sent in by James – Mick Raven

The Anti Christ Maybe? – Mick Raven

Activists Place Party Hats On Surveillance Cameras For George Orwell’s Birthday

Thx to Winston Smth for this Article – Mick Raven

Maybe its Time? (Jokes) – Mick Raven

How to buy a tank: Hungary, Poland, Czech Republic, Slovakia sell tanks

Love this Comment…Mick Raven

LMAO Bearded Hitler Haircut Fashion 2015 – Mick Raven

Kim Jong-un debuts new haircut and eyebrows

Before and After

Gorsicle – Haha – Mick Raven

Probably Left his Phone at Home LMAO – Mick Raven

Tony Abbott confronted by Craig from the Chaser Team about debt

Let the Eggspert Speak… Ha!

Lmao Gatesy You Devil You, we’ve got our EYE on you  – ConspiracyOz

The Headless Chooks in ‘The Gillard Experiment’

Australia enters ‘new climatic territory’: Climate Commission

(We thought this was very Funny, enjoy…..ConspiracyOz)

The PM will announce that she is ordering the Immigration Department to start deporting old people

(instead of illegals) in order to lower Age Pension and Medicare costs.

Old people are easier to catch, and most will not remember how to get back home!

I started crying when I thought of you.

RUN, YOU OLD BUGGER, RUN!!

Scientologists investigated South Park creators

http://www.yourtv.com.au/

In 2005 the South Park episode ‘Trapped in the Closet’ generated buzz because of its ruthless send-up of Scientology. The church, shockingly, didn’t respond well to the parody, reportedly launching an investigation into the cartoon’s creators Trey Parker and Matt Stoneafter it aired.

Ex-Scientologist Marty Rathbun leaked documents on his blog which apparently show that the church’s Office of Special Affairs, the department dedicated to “intelligence and covert affairs”, kept a very close eye on Parker and Stone in 2006: sending private investigators to watch their offices, root through their rubbish and probe the public records of their friends.

When that didn’t turn up anything good, the Church tried to “find a young filmmaker who would make an effective mole at the South Park offices“. Dun!

According to the Village Voice, the church has a history of investigations and “retaliation operations” against its perceived enemies.

‘Trapped in the Closet’ is one of the most controversial episodes of South Park: in the instalment Stan is thought to be the reincarnation of Scientology’s founder L. Ron Hubbard, attracting the attention of high-profile Scientologists including Tom Cruise and John Travolta. After Stan learns about Scientologists’ beliefs, he concludes the religion is “just a big fat global scam”.

The episode had a huge fallout: Cruise allegedly threatened to back out of promotional duties for Mission: Impossible III if reruns weren’t pulled from TV, while South Park voice actor and Scientologist Isaac Hayes — aka Chef — later quit the show because of how it treated his religion.

Amazing Australian Laws