Greta does not like raw eggs
One crisp winter morning in Sweden, a cute little girl named Greta woke up to a perfect world, one where there were no petroleum products ruining the earth She tossed aside her cotton sheet and wool blanket and stepped out onto a dirt floor covered with willow bark that had been pulverized with rocks.
“What’s this?” she asked.
“Pulverized willow bark,” replied her fairy godmother.
“What happened to the carpet?” she asked.
Greta exclaims,” Saving the planet is hard work. Do I have to pull up the last of the fence palings to heat the eggs?”
“The carpet was nylon, which is made from butadiene and hydrogen cyanide, both made from petroleum,” came the response.
Greta smiled, acknowledging that adjustments are necessary to save the planet, and moved to the sink to brush her teeth where instead of a toothbrush, she found a willow, mangled on one end to expose wood fibre bristles.
“Your old toothbrush?” noted her godmother, “Also nylon.”
“Where’s the water? asked Greta.
“Down the road in the canal,” replied her godmother, ‘Just make sure you avoid water with cholera in it”
“Why’s there no running water? ”Greta asked, becoming a little peevish.
“Well,” said her godmother, who happened to teach engineering at university, “Where do we begin?”
There followed a long monologue about how sink valves need elastomer seats and how copper pipes contain copper, which has to be mined and how it’s impossible to make all-electric earth-moving equipment with no gear lubrication or tires and how ore has to be smelted to a make metal, and that’s tough to do with only electricity as a source of heat, and even if you use only electricity, the wires need insulation, which is petroleum-based, and though most of Sweden’s energy is produced in an environmentally friendly way because of hydro and nuclear, if you do a mass and energy balance around the whole system, you still need lots of petroleum products like lubricants and nylon and rubber for tires and asphalt for filling potholes and wax and iPhone plastic and elastic to hold your underwear up while operating a copper smelting furnace and . . .
“What’s for breakfast?” interjected Greta, whose head was hurting.
“Fresh, range-fed chicken eggs,” replied her godmother. “Raw.”
“How so, raw?” inquired Greta.
“Well, . . .” And once again, Greta was told about the need for petroleum products like transformer oil and scores of petroleum products essential for producing metals for frying pans and in the end was educated about how you can’t have a petroleum-free world and then cook eggs.
Unless you rip your front fence up and start a fire and carefully cook your egg in an orange peel like you do in Boy Scouts. Not that you can find oranges in Sweden anymore.
“But I want poached eggs like my Aunt Tilda makes,” lamented Greta.
“Tilda died this morning,” the godmother explained. “Bacterial pneumonia.”
“What?!” interjected Greta. “No one dies of bacterial pneumonia! We have penicillin.”
“Not anymore,” explained godmother:
“The production of penicillin requires chemical extraction using isobutyl acetate, which, if you know your organic chemistry, is petroleum-based.
Lots of people are dying, which is problematic because there’s not any easy way of disposing of the bodies since backhoes need hydraulic oil and crematoriums can’t really burn many bodies using as fuel Swedish fences and furniture, which are rapidly disappearing – being used on the black market for roasting eggs and staying warm.”
This represents only a fraction of Greta’s day, a day without microphones to exclaim into and a day without much food, and a day without carbon-fibre boats to sail in, but a day that will save the planet. – contributed
Queen performs a TikTok dance routine
Off to the Beach Ppl – Mick Raven
(I’m Not Shocked Ha! – Mick Raven)
Not so Funny? hope the profits (Amazon) from his latest movie can cover this – Mick Raven
Still laughing? – Mick Raven
Ban Plastic Bags? Not in China – Mick Raven
Woman drives car into lake after following GPS directions
Tyrion Lannister’s doppelganger from Game of Thrones is a Pakistani waiter who wants to ‘work in movies’
United Australia Party…Made in China? – Mick Raven
Drivers texting risk death
I Love D*ck! – Australian Banned Dick Smith Ad Uncensored
Honest Government Ad |Anti Encryption Law
Honest Government Ad | My Police State!
Recent ‘Subscription Popup’ for ‘The Australian’ 2017
Something funny that the ‘Terrible Telegraph’ printed..you will have to sub$cribe if the want the whole ‘Fake News’ article – Mick Raven
All the links to those great Stories about Nostradamus’s predictions for the US Election..Ugh! – Mick Raven
TRANSformers Parody Obliterates PC Culture
Clint X sent these pix to amuse us…hang on i’ve got a message!! – Mick Raven
George Carlin biography
BabyMetal – The One
Sent in by Winston – Mick Raven
Sent in by James – Mick Raven
Sent in by James – Mick Raven
Thx to Winston Smth for this Article – Mick Raven
Maybe its Time? (Jokes) – Mick Raven
Love this Comment…Mick Raven
LMAO Bearded Hitler Haircut Fashion 2015 – Mick Raven
Before and After
Gorsicle – Haha – Mick Raven
Probably Left his Phone at Home LMAO – Mick Raven
Let the Eggspert Speak… Ha!
Lmao Gatesy You Devil You, we’ve got our EYE on you – ConspiracyOz
(We thought this was very Funny, enjoy…..ConspiracyOz)
The PM will announce that she is ordering the Immigration Department to start deporting old people
(instead of illegals) in order to lower Age Pension and Medicare costs.
Old people are easier to catch, and most will not remember how to get back home!
I started crying when I thought of you.
RUN, YOU OLD BUGGER, RUN!!
Scientologists investigated South Park creators
TV’s most controversial cartoon continues to be controversial
In 2005 the South Park episode ‘Trapped in the Closet’ generated buzz because of its ruthless send-up of Scientology. The church, shockingly, didn’t respond well to the parody, reportedly launching an investigation into the cartoon’s creators Trey Parker and Matt Stoneafter it aired.
Ex-Scientologist Marty Rathbun leaked documents on his blog which apparently show that the church’s Office of Special Affairs, the department dedicated to “intelligence and covert affairs”, kept a very close eye on Parker and Stone in 2006: sending private investigators to watch their offices, root through their rubbish and probe the public records of their friends.
When that didn’t turn up anything good, the Church tried to “find a young filmmaker who would make an effective mole at the South Park offices“. Dun!
According to the Village Voice, the church has a history of investigations and “retaliation operations” against its perceived enemies.
‘Trapped in the Closet’ is one of the most controversial episodes of South Park: in the instalment Stan is thought to be the reincarnation of Scientology’s founder L. Ron Hubbard, attracting the attention of high-profile Scientologists including Tom Cruise and John Travolta. After Stan learns about Scientologists’ beliefs, he concludes the religion is “just a big fat global scam”.
The episode had a huge fallout: Cruise allegedly threatened to back out of promotional duties for Mission: Impossible III if reruns weren’t pulled from TV, while South Park voice actor and Scientologist Isaac Hayes — aka Chef — later quit the show because of how it treated his religion.
The Audi “Green Police” ad is more true than it realizes.
http://www.americannation.info. Check the sidebar for the links to these real laws and stories in the annotations.
The Audi “Green Police” ad is more true than it realizes. There are real laws that are being put in place that are putting our freedom in peril.
A 25 cent “plastic carryout bag impact fee” failed 2009.
Now they want to ban plastic and tax paper bags:
Oregon Senate Bill 320: Prohibits persons from knowingly disposing of rechargeable batteries as solid waste.
In San Francisco, a new recycling law sets a $100 fine for homes that don’t recycle properly.
Ireland banned traditional light bulbs in favor of energy-saving alternatives in 2009-
Plastic Bottles Banned In San Francisco Offices:
Greenpeace welcomes electric hot water ban
Roadside Emissions & Remote Smog Test Checkpoints:
California Statewide Styrofoam Ban Sought: